


The Privilege of a Happy Ending

by kekneki



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, Smut, non-ghoul!au, using re: ages for characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-03-24 15:32:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3773914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kekneki/pseuds/kekneki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A shut-in painter spends his college days in his early twenties trying to just get through life as slowly as possible. In the midst of hate crimes around his campus and living area, his friend's brother getting abducted, and his toxic admirers, he meets a certain paperboy that opens him up to the better parts of the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thumbnails

**Author's Note:**

> time to put a change in things  
> time for something more  
> s e r i o u s
> 
> all i can say right now is that most of you will want me dead when this fic ends

The paint brush stroked the canvas, adding thinner and thinner layers to the watered-down acrylics drying onto the gesso’d fabric. Squinting eyes would occasionally look over it for checks on detail or composition, and then would continue eyeing over the strokes and movements lazily as the early morning slowly oozed along through time. The sunrise peeked through the window and effortlessly past the thin, decorated curtains of the dorm room. It had two beds; one of them empty, the other occupied.

A sigh was heard from the painter; yet another all-nighter was pulled for a project he wanted to get done a full week ahead of time. His constant self-banter and overbearing stress wouldn’t let him sleep, so he figured he would spend his time some other way. His white t-shirt had little droplets of water popping through the neutral color, and spots of paint dripped down on the material. His black shorts showed spots of gesso and paint mixed on them. His striped socks were clean with the exception of the mix of charcoal and dirt from his floor. The eye patch over his eye remained untouched; and it would stay that way.

He finally let the paintbrush drop into the jar of water on the snack table next to him. He put the palette down by the jar, letting his fingers run through his powdery white hair and letting another sigh escape his lips; only this time, out of relief. Maybe he could catch a nap before class, but he wasn’t sure how close he could cut it. It was currently six, and class wasn’t until ten. Take a good three hour nap, nab some coffee and a bagel, and shove off to class; that had been the established routine for a solid month now. 

He got up from his seat, groaning from the soreness in his legs and bottom, ignoring it for the moment so he could go to his bed. He flopped onto it, groaning in relief when he hit the mattress and buried his head into the pillow. He flipped the switch on his alarm clock on his nightstand so it would go off when it as needed. He closed his eyes, letting the thoughts of abstract dreams and slumber flood his mind.

It was rare of Kaneki to feel the relief of sleep: that much was explained. He had a good resistance against sleeping during class or his job, yet he could easily find himself falling asleep while painting or siting on a bench outside in the courtyard, admiring the vibrant gardens and fountains, all while catching up on his reading.

None of his classmates really bothered to talk to him; Kaneki was the shut-in of his years. Kaneki entered college with an odd, threatening and intimidating aura, and nothing had changed from those two past, quiet years. He was passing his classes perfectly, and his skills with his hands gave him many admirers. He didn’t feel a need to be admired anymore; the only compelling drive in his life he had established for himself was to just simply move on. The only people he associated himself with were his companions from his job, but even then he still didn’t socialize a lot. Even as a worker, he had to put up the façade that he was _happy_ ; that he was _satisfied_ with himself; all of which were little white lies he makes daily.

It made him sick.

The sudden boom of thunder and the quick flash of lightning were the contribution of Kaneki’s sudden awakening a good half hour before his alarm was due to go off. He sat up from his bed sheets, his muscles aching from the disturbance of slumber. He rubbed his eyes, his ears adjusting to hearing the rain beating down on his windows. He soon stood up, wobbling a bit as he managed to collect himself, and headed for his tiny kitchen to prepare some coffee for himself.

He tuned in on the television, which eagerly and loudly announced that his classes were cancelled. He sighed as he sipped his coffee, eyeing the still-drying painting on the easel. He decided to just ignore it and let it dry completely; maybe afterwards he could go back and work on the details again. He needed to stay ahead, and ‘perfect’ by his own standards (which were ridiculously high anyways). For now, however, he lazily sipped his coffee, nibbled on a bit of toast, and let his eyes be intrigued by the morning news.

“…Yet another abduction has been reported by students of the prominent school, you guessed it again, Kamii University, only a few hours ago earlier this morning. The one who was abducted was the younger sibling of another student with the family name, Kirishima…”

Kaneki’s eyebrows perked up and he stopped mid-sip. _Younger sibling… Kirishima… could it be?_

“…He was last seen, supposedly, earlier in the evening with his older sister around the campus. There is no known evidence on whether or not the two were forcibly separated, for we haven’t been able to get in contact with the victim’s sister. The only evidence our newsgroup found was, a good few miles away from the sister’s dormitory, and into the woods, reeked of burning wood and hair. When we made it to the scene, the only thing that remained was a burnt piece of paper reading the word “succumb”. We suspect that this so-called note was written in blood, and may in fact be the victim’s blood. More this afternoon when we get more coverage.”

Kaneki let his mug clink on the table, giving off a sense of skepticism. Surely this could’ve been _another_ Kirishima, right? _Surely_ , this wasn’t the case. Kaneki found himself trembling with anxiety, and the continuous downpour wasn’t helping him any, either. He eyed his phone which sat by the palette; should he try and contact his old friend, or would it be too distasteful and risky? Another glance shot at the clock. It was barely nine-thirty, so he doubted she was even up in the first place. And if she was, she was probably being bombarded by newsgroups.

He sighed, sipping the coffee before finally standing back up again. He walked over to the snack table, grabbing his phone and unlocking it with his thumb. It figured; several texts, probably typed in a panic, from none other than the one who was supposed to be on the news.

_Touka-chan: kaneki kaneki oh m ygdo I can’t find him_

_Touka-chan: I don;’t know if you’re working or not but kanek iplease please_

_Touka-chan: I’m ficking panciking I feel like I’ll uke yomo is trying to keep m from running into the gufkving woods_

_Touka-chan: jdfsfsfe9ur_

_Touka-chan: It’s Yomo_

_Touka-chan: I have Touka under control now_

_Touka-chan: Stop by this afternoon before work, preferably after the supposed rain clears up_

_Touka-chan: Thank you_

Kaneki felt uneasy, but at least he knew Touka herself was okay. He felt even more relieved knowing that someone like Yomo was around to be a support group. He scrolled more, not finding anything else of interest. His phone vibrated in his hands, indicating another message had been sent to him, quickly scrolling through his menus, he found his inbox. Then, he grimaced.

It was _him_.

It was the ‘paperboy’, or rather ‘errand boy’ of the campus. He was referred to as the ‘joker’, the ‘bitch’ in some cases. He was really looked down upon, but Kaneki could never fathom why he was so degraded by the others. The only thing that put Kaneki off was the fact that ‘paperboy’ was a bit more eccentric and bouncy than his first impression implied. Perhaps he was comfortable around Kaneki.

_Hideyoshi: hey, buddy! can you open your door?_

Kaneki looked over to the door, and then slowly walked toward it as he pocketed his phone for the time being. He unlocked and soon opened up his door, seeing a grinning, dripping young man standing before him, holding a full shopping bag. The one thing that Kaneki was charmed by was the fact that the boy’s smile could light up a room. It was a unique quality in his eyes.

“Hey, Kaneki. Didn’t expect you to be up, actually. You know that classes are cancelled?” Hideyoshi asked him, voice full of energy, yet he shivered from the rain a little.

Kaneki nodded. “I was watching the news earlier… why are you here, Hideyoshi?” His voice was surprisingly gentle. “You should be asleep since you’re off for the day…”

Hideyoshi shrugged indifferently. “I got plenty of sleep, don’t you worry. And I figured paying my new… _acquaintance_ , as you put it, a visit, would be a good thing to do, right?” Hide’s smile turned a bit more innocent. “Or would you rather be alone again?”

Kaneki thought for a moment. As much as he wanted to, Kaneki would feel bad to turn Hideyoshi down, especially since he was soaked to the bone. “…Come in, I’ll make you coffee and get you a towel.”

Hideyoshi nodded, walking silently inside of the apartment, still dripping wet. While Hideyoshi took off his shoes, Kaneki took the bag from him and set it on the table. Hideyoshi’s eyes wandered Kaneki’s organized apartment, fascinated since this was the first time since they’ve met that Hideyoshi had ever been inside. They’ve only known each other for a good week or so, and Kaneki had made countless attempts to shove Hideyoshi away; Hideyoshi wouldn’t accept them. He had an overwhelming curiosity concerning the other. Hideyoshi pursued him any way he could; following him to class, visiting him at work, anything he could.

Hideyoshi knew Kaneki was a shut-in, so it was a guarantee hat Kaneki was different from the others. He heard rumors around concerning the mysterious artist, but the way Hideyoshi managed to even _talk_ to Kaneki was only by chance. Hideyoshi’s nicknames were pretty literal; he _was_ a paperboy for his end of the campus (which happened to be Kaneki’s living space). He would ride his bike around and do any sort of deliveries he needed to for a small bit of cash he would get from the school. It was sort of a shitty job, but he would take anything.

He ended up almost running Kaneki over with his bike a week ago while Kaneki withdrew himself from his sociable painting class. Kaneki glared and scolded, only to find out that he actually _pitied_ Hideyoshi. Hideyoshi only smiled, eagerly apologizing and dusting off Kaneki. He picked up the canvas that Kaneki dropped during the collision, and was actually interested in the penciled sketch that was on it. He insisted that it looked amazing, but Kaneki didn’t’ really intend to listen.

Ever since that meeting, Hideyoshi had gained such an interest in Kaneki that could only _really_ be described as some sort of weird crush (at least that was how Kaneki saw it). Hideyoshi followed the other around similar to how a lost puppy would follow a stranger. Kaneki never thought they would establish any sort of bond, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn down Hideyoshi again, especially since he was out in that storm and had actually brought things with him.

Hideyoshi was only slightly taller than Kaneki and perhaps a bit more muscular in structure and tanner in skin tone since he was significantly more sociable. His hair was a glowing blonde, brown roots showing themselves shamelessly on the top of his head. His eyes were a pure chocolate brown, twinkling a bit with excitement when Kaneki brought him a towel. Hideyoshi nodded eagerly in gratitude, mumbling a soft ‘thank you, Kaneki’ before he accepted it. He rubbed it in his hair to get it to stop dripping, and then tried to dry the rest of himself off.

“Hideyoshi.” Kaneki turned around from his coffee maker, loading it up with a few cups worth of grounds. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to see you. Like I did last time.” Hideyoshi grinned, letting the towel drape around his neck. “Sure, I didn’t expect the rain to be that bad…”

“You could get sick.” Kaneki began to nag a little toward the other.

“So _now_ you’re concerning yourself with my wellbeing? Last time I checked, you said you were indifferent.”

“…If you do something stupid, I’ll scold you for it.

 

“Heh. Looks like someone’s getting a soft spot.” Hideyoshi teased. “Did I make an impression?”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, okay.” Hideyoshi dropped the subject. He didn’t want to legitimately upset the other. “So, uh, how is that painting coming along for you?”

“It’s fine.” Kaneki turned around from the coffee maker, letting it brew for a bit. “It’s almost done. When I have class, I’ll hand it in.”

“Cool. I don’t think I could ever do that. Be an artist full-time, I mean. I never found myself as the artsy type.”

“Everyone has an artist in them. No matter how you look at it. Some are just more skilled than others. And artists can come in all forms; whether they make physical art like myself, or they could sing or dance or play instruments… the possibilities are endless.”

“Heh, I guess I just haven’t figured out what _type_ of artist I am, then? That sounds plausible.” Hideyoshi nodded.

“You could even be a writer, which would appeal to me because I love to read.” Kaneki was dropping some indirect hints. He always wanted to know someone who was a writer. 

“I don’t… think I’ve ever attempted to write before. I mean, I’m a paperboy; I watch and listen to the news constantly…”

“You could be a journalist.”

“I could be.”

“So… what are you going to this school for, then?”

Hideyoshi shrugged. “I still haven’t figured that out yet. For now I’m just taking classes to build life skills, I guess. I’ve got a job at a grocery store to support myself and I do odd jobs for the campus in addition to that. However, I live off-campus. What about you?”

“Majoring in Illustration, but I love to paint.” Kaneki answered. “I took as many painting classes as my major would allow. I started going here… about three or so years ago. I live on-campus for the sake of convenience, and I work at a café with a younger friend of mine who also goes here. She lives at home with a younger brother and… I guess a foster parent of sorts. He happens to own the café we both work at.”

“Wow, looks like we both have some pretty interesting lives and routines, huh? I like you, Kaneki.” Hideyoshi grinned. “I wish we could’ve spoken sooner.”

“Maybe… I do too.” Kaneki muttered a bit shyly.

“It’s okay. I understand you’re not a people person. I sort of gathered that from what everyone else told me so far.”

“Yeah…”

“You wanna know what I brought with me?”

“Brought…?” Kaneki looked over to the dripping shopping bag on the table. He had almost forgotten about it through the conversation. “Look, you really didn’t have to bring anything…”

“Don’t worry about it. Just look inside; I think you’ll like it.”

Kaneki nodded, but cautiously leaned over and stuck his hand into the bag. After a few seconds, he pulled out something that was… actually pretty warm to the touch. It was a paper bag; a bit wet because of the rain. The scent of something delicious hit his nose, and he stared at it with fascination. He knew exactly what it was.

“Is this…?”

“Yup. A burger from Big Girl. Someone told me you ate there pretty often in between classes. Thought I’d grab you one. I also grabbed a second one for myself, so we could both bond over the wonderful thing that is western hamburgers.” Hideyoshi seemed pretty satisfied with himself concerning his own humor. Kaneki found himself turned red in the face and heart skipping a few beats.

“T-Thank you, Hideyoshi…” Kaneki was almost a little embarrassed.

“I can eat that other one with coffee, if you don’t mind handing that other one in the bag to me.”

Kaneki nodded, grabbing the other bag for him. Still, he raised his eyebrows in confusion. “Hamburgers… with coffee?”

“Yeah. I think it goes well together.” Hideyoshi took the bag from Kaneki. “Is that weird?”

“Sort of, yes.” Kaneki turned toward the coffee pot, switching it off and grabbing a cup to pour it into. “How do you take it?”

“Know how to make cappuccinos?”

“You’re asking a person who works at a café.” Kaneki went over to his fridge, opening it up and looking for what he needed. “Don’t be silly.”

“Hmph. Okay, Mister Artist. Do the thing. I wanna be impressed.” Hideyoshi teased, taking a bite out of his own burger after taking it out of the bag.

“Yeah…” Kaneki prepared it, occasionally looking over at Hideyoshi as he was eating. “Are they... good?”

“The burgers? This one is. They were just made when I got there, so yours should still be warm.”

“Thank you again. I’m almost done with your coffee.”

“Take your time, Kaneki. Can I sit anywhere, or should I stand?”

“There’s a second seat at the table. Just sit there.”

“Yessir.”

Hideyoshi went to sit at the table, the towel still around his neck and the burger in his hand. Kaneki put the coffee beside Hideyoshi on the table, and then sat at the table with him. He took the burger Hideyoshi got for him out of the bag, unwrapped it, and took sort of a shy bite. Hideyoshi watched with interest. “How is it?”

“It’s delicious. Thank you, Hideyoshi.”

“I’m glad you like it. I’ll be sure to go there again soon… maybe we could go together?”

“Together? I wouldn’t want to trouble you…”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. You’re not trouble to me at all, Kaneki. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Kaneki stopped mid-bite. “Friends…?”

“Was that too much of a term to use? I mean, I guess we don’t really know each other that well-”

“No, no. It’s okay.” Kaneki lowered the burger from his face. “I… I see you as a friend, Hideyoshi.”

“Not just because I brought you something, right?” Hideyoshi joked, sipping his coffee. “Nah, I’m kidding. I know you’re not like that at all. This coffee is delicious, by the way…”

“…Thank you Hideyoshi.”

“With that established, I wanna know more about you, Kaneki.” Hideyoshi’s eyes twinkled. “Tell me about _you_.”

“About me? Well… what do you want to know?”

“Everything you’re willing to tell me.”

“I don’t know where to start…”

“How about…” Hideyoshi thought for a moment. “… your passion for art?”

Kaneki hesitated to answer at first, and even then his explanation began a bit small and reserved. Despite that, Hideyoshi listened intently, nodding at any points Kaneki tried to make for himself. As time passed, Kaneki found himself opening up to Hideyoshi a bit more as he spoke further. His ideas got a bit more elaborate, and his words became somewhat more complex, but he knew that Hideyoshi understood him and was listening. More importantly; he could tell Hideyoshi wanted Kaneki to go on.

Hideyoshi smiled at him; it gave Kaneki a lump in his throat that he couldn’t distinguish with words. Still, Kaneki gladly explained his own affairs with the other, not letting his sudden fit of anxiety prohibit him from going further. Kaneki even found himself smiling as he continued to speak. Hideyoshi nodded intently, and listened thoroughly as Kaneki continuously gushed on.

“Hey, Kaneki.” Hideyoshi spoke up. “I… I really like your passion for art, you know? It’s something I can admire about you.”

“…Thank you Hideyoshi.” Kaneki still sounded timid, despite his excitement.

“You don’t have to call me Hideyoshi, y’know. It just sounds too formal to me… Why not just ‘Hide’?”

“Hide…”

“Yeah, Hide. It can be your nickname for me; but _only_ you, okay?”

“…Hide…” Kaneki couldn’t help but repeat it. It was… something so special to him. His own special name for someone…

“You keep saying my name.” Hide chuckled at the other. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Kaneki composed himself, yet his heart was still racing. He brought a hand to his own cheek; it felt warm, and his skin gained a pink tint.

“Are you blushing?” Hide raised an eyebrow. “Are you getting sick? Is it from your eye patch?”

“N-No…”

Hide leaned forward. “Then what’s wrong?” Hide placed a hand on the other’s forehead. “You’re not really warm, but…”

It was tempting. It was tempting for Kaneki to lean forward just enough to display his sudden affections; to place the softest butterfly kiss onto Hide’s worried lips. His heart kept picking up as Hide stared at the other, mumbling to himself. Kaneki cursed himself silently for succumbing to such a cliché romantic scenario. He had vowed not to let something as petty as simple romance throw him off in his endeavors, but he may as well be breaking that promise.  
 


	2. There's a Shark in the Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,,yeah  
> it's the end of the school year and having thing after thing after thing and WORK i can't find time or motivation to really work on fics as much as i used to  
> and i apologize heavily for that  
> but i assure all of you that once summer kicks in i'll be a bit more able to write  
> and hopefully more often  
> but that ALSO depends on work schedule AND how much i need to prepare for college
> 
> for all of you who are still following my fics despite my sudden hiatuses and disappearances, props to you  
> but you're all great  
> and i love all of you

It was a swift motion. It was warm and only lasted a second. When Kaneki pressed his lips against the other’s, he felt his whole world stop temporarily. Kaneki pulled back, his face as bright as a tomato as he stared desperately at the other. Hide was a bit shocked and was even blushing himself. The eye contact was maintained for what seemed like hours.

“…Why did you pull away?” Hide asked him quietly.

“….Uh….” Kaneki could only let out a confused noise. He still couldn’t process what exactly he did.

Hide blinked, licking his lips. “Did it taste like coffee? Or burgers? Or both? Because yours did. Do you take your coffee black?”

Kaneki didn’t expect the other to be so talkative afterwards. Was Hide used to these sort of things? “Eh…”

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“N-No…”

“Oh.” Hide answered a bit matter-of-factly cupping Kaneki’s cheek in his hand. “I never saw you as the kissing type, either. Was that your first kiss?”

 _No_. “Yes…”

“That’s cute.” Hide squeezed his cheek in his fingers. “Kaneki, can I kiss you?”

Kaneki nodded hesitantly, closing his eyes when Hide pressed his own lips against Kaneki’s. The redness and heat in Kaneki’s face intensified as Hide didn’t move; only pressed a bit harder. A hum escaped Hide’s throat, and a smile formed as the kiss prolonged. The tip of Hide’s tongue slipped from behind his lips, curiously licking Kaneki’s bottom lip. Kaneki opened his mouth reflexively and felt Hide’s warm tongue make its way inside.

He felt his heart stop again, yet he managed to get his tense body to relax as Hide’s tongue began to caress his own. Kaneki assumed Hide knew what he was doing, and only went with it for his own good. Hide chuckled in Kaneki’s mouth, and then slowly pulled himself away to break the kiss. The only thing that kept their mouths connected was a very thin line of saliva from the combined effort of them both. Hide was all smiley, whereas Kaneki was completely flustered and unsure of how to act next.

“…Hm. Just friends, huh?” Hide teased, removing his hand from Kaneki’s face. “I like you, Kaneki.”

“I, uh…”

“Look, I’m not one of those people who’ll force you into anything. How long has it been; a week? You can take as much time as you need.”

“…Thank you.” Kaneki couldn’t really fathom whether or not he was truly considering it; he just wanted _out_ of his own self-inflicted awkward situation. Hide pulled his head back, still letting the chuckles slip past his lips.

“I didn’t expect someone so apparently suave to be so flustered.” Hide teased. “You have a lot of admirers you know. Most of them being girls, though.”

“Yeah, I’m aware… that’s why I usually stay inside…”

“Don’t like the attention?”

“Not particularly, no…” Kaneki finally brought himself to sip his coffee. “Some of them make me uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, there’re some weird ones in this place. I’ve met a few of them, been with a few of them… both boys and girls. There’s gotta be something in the water here, man.” Hide took a bite of his burger.

“I guess there could be.” Kaneki shrugged. “I don’t really concern myself with social connections that much. I mean, aside from you I guess, I have a couple of friends…”

“At least you have some.” Hide took another bite, and then continued. “I’ve got a few from my apartment complex. They’re cops and they moved in together to try and investigate the campus.”

“Really?”

Hide nodded. “Even though the most recent incident was last night, they haven’t been able to gather much from the previous ones. Now that this one made the news, they just might be able to get something under their watch. I sorta hope they do, honestly… they’ve been working their asses off.”

“I’m sure they’ll find what they’re looking for. They sound like good people.” Kaneki frowned a little. “I just hope he’s all right…”

“You know the victim?” Hide raised an eyebrow.

“…His sister. He didn’t like me very much to begin with.” Kaneki sipped his coffee, taking a little bit longer and letting the taste linger in his mouth. “He’s two years younger than his sister and reckless. I just wonder who would have the nerve to abduct a minor…”

“The sister’s eighteen?”

“Nineteen, respectively. She takes cyber classes from here. She lives off-campus.”

“Ooooh, sorta like me then!” Hide grinned. “Don’t worry; not interested though.”

“What?”

“ _You’re_ my target now, artsy fartsy.” Hide gave a little wink, eating a bit more so he wouldn’t have to explain himself. How... charming and clever of him.

Kaneki was right back to being flustered, but decided to withdraw the subject before there was an unneeded dispute. His eyebrow twitched when he heard Hide laughing at him through his chewing, but decided that he knew it was only in good fun. The two kept eating and drinking, keeping their conversation alive by discussing their interests, origins, their college lives… anything they could think of.

An hour or so had passed at this point. The cloudiness and rain had faded into a charming overcast. The sun peeked through the clouds sheepishly but the outdoors gave the impression of an oncoming gloomy day. The two young men didn’t seem to mind; they cherished the company of each other for as long as they could. Hide occasionally stole a kiss or two from Kaneki just to make him blush and to make the conversation more interesting. Kaneki tried to ignore his own embarrassment; sadly, that was harder than it sounded.

Kaneki felt his pocket vibrate ad let his hand reach down. Hide sipped his coffee, watching Kaneki’s movements. “Got a text?”

Kaneki nodded, unlocking his phone. “Yeah… from a friend.”

“Touka?” Hide asked. “The girl with the missing brother?”

“No, her guardian.”

_Yomo: Kaneki, Touka is able to speak and think rationally now._

_Yomo: Feel free to stop by any time today._

Kaneki’s eyebrows arched as he lowered his phone, and then began eyeing Hide. “I have to go see her.”

“You do? Understandable.” Hide shrugged, standing up from his seat. “She needs you right now more than I do, y’know. I think you should definitely go, Kaneki.” Hide stretched, taking the towel off his shoulders, folding it, and putting it down on the table. “We should meet up again.”

“I agree.” Kaneki nodded, also standing up. “I’ll text you later.”

“I’d like that.” Hide smiled at Kaneki, causing him to blush. “I’m looking forward to it. Maybe sometime tomorrow after classes end, we can meet up again?”

“Perhaps. We’ll talk later, though.”

“Definitely. I’ll see you around.”

Hide leaned forward to peck Kaneki’s nose before quickly letting himself out before Kaneki could say anything. Kaneki couldn’t dwell on embarrassment for too long; he needed to get into the shower and get dressed. Kaneki tried not to skip a beat with his own preparations; even with the heat of the shower, Hide’s touch still lingered on him. He could still feel Hide’s gaze on him, that smile warming up his entire body. Kaneki dried himself off sluggishly, subconsciously pretending that the towel drying him was Hide instead. He began to curse himself and refer to himself as crazy; this couldn’t happen.

White jeans covered in paint and a black t-shirt was suitable enough for a casual visit. Socks with sandals only joined the attire because he was still feeling sort of groggy from the lack of sleep. He checked his eye patch in the mirror before grabbing his phone, wallet, and keys and heading out the door. He hastily locked it with all three locks; he didn’t want to take any chances of anyone getting inside.

Outside was humid, but cool. The sun peeked through the clouds shyly, popping out bit by bit in the path of Kaneki’s destination. He took the cool air in; it felt nice on his skin and actually woke him up a bit more. The gentle breeze blew his still messy hair around, some of it getting into his other eye. He brushed it off as he walked, not really minding it. He was feeling a bit uneasy; it was barely a day since the crime was broadcasted. Someone could be lurking outside, possibly someone included in the act, waiting for someone to let their guard down.

“…Kaneki-kun? I’ve never seen you leave your dorm this time of day, especially without classes…” Small footsteps came from behind Kaneki. He turned around, hiding his grimace by keeping a stoic expression.

“It’s not normal for you to be out, either. I heard you’re a night person, Rize.” Kaneki remarked, almost mocking her.

Rize’s eyebrows furrowed as she let out a _mildly sarcastic_ giggle. “Mmm, you’re correct to have so many admirers, Kaneki. I wonder if they know you have such a _watered-down_ sense of humor?”

Her long hair blew with the wind, almost resembling the ribbons on her dress. She crossed her arms through her coat, letting a partial smirk show when she was done with her mild laughter. She made Kaneki uneasy due to some… _previous occasions_ , yet he couldn’t seem to avoid her.

“It shouldn’t be any of their concern. My life isn’t theirs to explore.”

“Hmph. Typical of you I guess. You are the ultimate recluse, but where are you going? Your girlfriend’s?”

“…She isn’t my girlfriend. Touka and I are just friends.” That struck a little bit of a nerve.

“Even after she confessed to you multiple times? Things like that get around the school quickly, Kaneki; especially if it’s concerning a certain borderline idol like yourself.”

Kaneki grit his teeth. “That isn’t any of your business, either. Touka understands that I’m not romantically attracted to her. Nor to you.”

“Ouch. I didn’t even mention myself.” Rize chuckled, bringing her fingers to her lips. “Your harsh words only emphasis the lingering touch on my lips…”

“I have no interest in a romantic relationship of any kind. Not with you, or Touka, or anyone. Man or woman.”

“ _Really_?” Rize almost sounded fascinated. “I feel as if that could be debatable.”

“…How so?”

“I happened to walk by your dormitory this morning when it was raining. I found out classes were cancelled after it was announced, so I was heading back to my own residence. I saw… an unfamiliar body walking into your hallway with a bag of something… he looked pretty excited, hm?”

“Why are you assuming that they came for me?”

Rize shrugged. “Women’s intuition?”

Kaneki scoffed at her. “If you’re done with the games, I need to get going.”

“Hideyoshi, right? The paperboy from off-campus?” Rize continued, intending to instigate the other. “He’s basically an outcast on campus, you know. Why would you associate with someone so low?”

“Social status isn’t a concern for me.” Kaneki attempted to step by her, only to have Rize block Kaneki by stepping in front of him. “Please move aside.”

“I’m just curious, Kaneki-kun.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“So you _did_ accompany him?”

“Rize. Move. I don’t want to push you.”

Rize sighed, as if in defeat, gently stepping aside. “Fine. But don’t expect to slip away so luckily next time.”

“You’re seriously ridiculous, like anyone else in this school.” Kaneki mumbled as he walked off, not bothering to look back behind him as he kept going. He was hoping Rize wouldn’t follow him; he didn’t hear any other footsteps besides his own, so he assumed he was safe for the time being.

Touka’s residence wasn’t too far from the campus gates. He walked calmly, hearing the chattering of his peers as he strolled along. _Is that Kaneki? He’s outside? Why is he up this time of day; doesn’t he sleep in super later on off-days? Is he going to see that girlfriend of his?_ Kaneki ignored the comments, or tried to, until the sounds were out of sight to his ears. Sometimes he wished he could turn off his hearing at will.

Her house was a typical family house, but only a few people lived there; Touka herself, her missing brother, and the established guardian, Yomo. Sometimes, others of their common friend circle would crash there, but it was a healthy household even if Touka and her brother didn’t get along the best. It wasn’t too far from the café, so it was a convenient little house.

Kaneki stepped on the wooden porch, pressing the doorbell as he stood on the ‘welcome’ mat. He felt some anxiety well up inside of him as he waited for answer; he wasn’t sure if either Touka or Yomo would answer. If it was Touka after all, what sort of state would she be in? Kaneki would hope she would at least be able to speak rationally for her own sake, but even in the current situation it was doubtful.

The door cracked open, shy eyes widening at the sight of Kaneki. 

“…Touka?” Kaneki spoke quietly. “It’s me.”

“…Yeah, right.” Touka answered emptily, opening the door a bit wider. Her hair was a mess of knots and ruts despite how short it was. Her eyes were dry and full of fatigue, her skin blushed from crying. Her hands on the door trembled a little, and her casual wear was covered in her own tears and sweat from the recent events. “Want to come in?”

“Sure.”

Kaneki walked inside, Touka closing the door behind him. He slipped off his shoes and left them beside the door, turning around to look at Touka. He frowned at how tired she looked; it seemed as if she slept even less than he did the previous night.

“I’m glad you came to see me.” Touka’s voice eased a little bit, her expression becoming a bit gentler.

“I would’ve come even if you and Yomo didn’t want to. Are you doing okay?”

“…No. They can’t find him.” Touka’s eyes wandered over to the television, which was muted. “I’ve been on the same news network since last night… nothing new was found about him.”

Kaneki’s expression became a bit more pained. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because it’s horrible that it happened. He’s young, and despite how unpleasant he can be sometimes… he _is_ your brother…”

“I know, Kaneki. I’m just… Besides Yomo, I’ll have no family left…”

“I’ll be your family.” Kaneki spoke a bit boldly, stepping a little closer to Touka. “I mean, I know I won’t be able to replace Ayato or your parents, but…”

“You don’t have to burden yourself with someone like me.”

“It’s not a burden if I choose to do it.”

“Kaneki…”

“Touka, I’m being sincere. Despite what I’ve said to you in the past… I want to stay closer to you.”

“But Kaneki.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t want you to be my family.”

Kaneki grimaced, letting his head turn away from Touka’s eyes. “I was afraid you were going to say that…”

“What? Are you insulting me? Is there something _wrong_ with how I feel or something?”

“No, it’s nothing like that. What you feel… is how you feel.”

“Then why don’t you accept me, Kaneki?” Touka was getting increasingly defensive.

“There’s our ages…”

“I’ll be turning twenty in a few months. Age is just a number and you know it.”

“You’re confused.”

“I’m- _Excuse me_?”

“I said you’re confused.”

Touka’s eyes finally twisted into a glare. “Why say something so rash, Kaneki?”

“Because I don’t understand the concept of someone like _you_ wanting someone like _me_. I’ve explained this to you before.”

“You have, and I still don’t understand.” Touka charged at Kaneki, grabbing his shirt by the collar. “You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve…”

“Why are you angry with me?”

“Because you’re being vague about this.”

“I don’t feel a need to explain myself.”

“Why not?”

“Because you won’t understand-”

The sting of Touka’s hand striking Kaneki’s face was the strongest physical effect inflicted on him all day, but it didn’t even begin to compare to the reaction his body had to Hide’s kiss. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?!”

 _Yes_.“Why does that concern you?”

“ _You_ concern me.”

“You concern me as well. Are you getting the impression that I don’t care about you because I don’t share your affection?” Kaneki raised an eyebrow, putting a hand to the spot where Touka slapped him. “Touka, I like you a lot. But I don’t want to get romantically involved with you…”

Touka’s grip on Kaneki’s shirt loosened. Her raised arms dropped and began to shake as she gritted her teeth and contorted her face in attempt to stop the tears. She lowered her head, sniffling as she tried to compose herself. “A-Again with this…”

“The definition of insanity is repeating an action over and over again, expecting different results.”

“Are you calling me insane…?”

“…No, what you’re trying to do is insane. Please let go of me.”

Touka let her hands drop. “…I think you should leave.


	3. By The Horns

“That’s what onee-chan told me…”

“Of course.”

“What do you think about it?”

“I’m not sure what to think.” The young man shrugged indifferently, sipping his coffee. “This happens all too much… as much as Aneki should’ve learned by now, I can’t but feel a bit of contempt every time this happens to her.”

“I find it… sort of off-putting.” The girl admitted, shifting in her seat a little. “Onee-chan pursuing onii-chan, I mean.”

“Why, Hinami? They’re not _actually_ siblings.”

“Well yeah, but they have the bond that’s similar to something like that. I don’t want that to change.”

“You don’t want them getting romantically involved, period?”

Hinami shook her head. “No.”

“…I agree with you, Hinami.”

She perked up. “You do, Ayato?”

Ayato nodded. “It goes like this.” He leaned back in his chair by the booth. “Hinami, you know I don’t like Kaneki, right?”

“Is that why?”

“Partially.”

“What else is there?”

“Even if they do end up together, it’s not like his habits of being introverted are going to change. No matter how close they are as friends, they may not be able to maintain that bond as lovers.” Ayato lifted his mug towards his lips. “It shouldn’t be any of my business, but it’s starting to irritate me a little.”

“Are you going to do anything about it?”

“I’ve been debating it, but… I need to do my research.”

“What kind of research?” Hinami asked, nibbling on a little bit of a muffin.

“Well…” Ayato’s eyes moved to Hinami’s. “That’s where you come in.”

“Huh… me?”

“Yes, you.” Ayato continued. “As far as they know, I’m probably dead. Even if this wasn’t the case, what are the chances that Kaneki will trust me?”

“What are you planning on doing to onii-chan?” Hinami got a bit defensive, her gentle eyes becoming tense. “If you hurt him, I won’t stand for it.”

“I’m not going to hurt him directly, Hinami. Relax.”

“Not until I know what you plan on doing, Ayato.”

“Do you not trust me?”

“Not if you’re going to hurt onii-chan.”

“Take this as you will; my plans aren’t to harm Kaneki. Rather… if Aneki can’t have him, then no one can have him _either_ …”

****

_Hide: oh… that’s what’s up between you two?_

_Kaneki: yes_

_Kaneki: it’s sort of complicated_

_Kaneki: I’m sorry for bothering you with something like this_

_Hide: don’t worry about it_

_Hide: in fact I wish you told me sooner_

_Hide: holding something like that in for a few days must’ve been rough_

_Kaneki: it was, but I’m fine now_

_Kaneki: don’t worry about it_

_Hide: you sure?_

_Kaneki: yes, I’m sure_

_Kaneki: let’s dismiss the subject_

_Hide: whatever you want man_

_Hide: nothing else happened?_

_Kaneki: nothing eventful, no_

_Kaneki: I went straight back to my dorm after Touka’s_

_Kaneki: did some painting, but that’s it_

_Hide: sounds interesting to a point_

_Hide: I’ve been hanging with my classmate most of the afternoon_

_Hide: his name’s Nishiki_

_Kaneki: ah, I think I may know him_

_Hide: short tempered and mushroom hair?_

_Kaneki: sure_

_Kaneki: he works at the café I work at_

_Kaneki: he likes to mess with my younger sister_

_Kaneki: well not my actual sister_

_Kaneki: she just calls me onii-chan_

_Hide: that’s cute_

_Hide: how old is she?_

_Kaneki: 17, going on 18 I think?_

_Kaneki: she’s friends with Ayato, so she’s pretty upset about his disappearance as well_

_Kaneki: it’s worrying me deeply_

_Kaneki: I just hope he comes home safe, for the sake of Touka and Hinami and the rest of them_

_Hide: I’m sure he’ll be okay_

_Hide: the cops in my complex have been trying to get leads_

_Hide: tomorrow they’ll be searching the woods_

_Kaneki: really now?_

_Kaneki: isn’t that sort of dangerous?_

_Hide: a little bit, but they’re tough_

_Hide: they’re also really cool, too_

_Kaneki: are they a part of the self-defense squad?_

_Hide: sort of_

_Hide: it’s more of a private agency_

_Hide: I intern there sometimes if they need a journalist_

_Hide: in exchange the agency pays my tuition fees so I can pay rent_

_Hide: it’s a nice relationship_

_Hide: I think you would like them_

_Kaneki: sure, I guess_

_Kaneki: maybe I’ll meet them sometime_

_Kaneki: but with that in mind, do you just do the paperboy job to pay rent?_

_Hide: basically yeah_

_Hide: it’s a fucking awful job but my applications for something else haven’t really_

_Hide: uh_

_Hide: gotten me anything yet_

_Hide: I don’t like to admit that I’m sort of a deadbeat…_

_Kaneki: I don’t think you are_

_Kaneki: and sure that isn’t something that’s completely in your control_

_Hide: it sort of isn’t_

_Kaneki: you could always move into my dorm if it would benefit you financially_

_Kaneki: I have a two bedroom dorm, but I only use one bedroom_

_Kaneki: you’re welcome to occupy the other one if you need to_

_Hide: thanks kaneki_

_Hide: I’ll consider your offer if I need it_

****

“…Nothing about Ayato yet, Yomo?” Touka asked, wrapped in a blanket on the couch.

“No. The news hasn’t shown anything new, and every phone call we’ve gotten is one of mourning. The nerve of everyone assuming he’s dead…” Yomo sighed, sipping a glass of water.

“You don’t think he’s dead?”

“Of course not. I have a bit more faith in him, even if he wouldn’t do the same for me. What about you?”

“…I don’t know. I mean, he’s strong on his own despite how stubborn he can be. But, those people he would hang out with…” Touka shifted in her seat. “I never trusted them, honestly.”

“I feel as if they have some involvement in this. If not in the kidnapping, then something. Their records bother me.”

“They’re bad, right?”

“Mainly burglary, but that still raises red flags.” Yomo paused a moment. “…I wouldn’t be surprised if there were battery charges along with that.”

“How do you know so much?”

“I know someone who associates with them sometimes. Do you remember Uta?”

“Vaguely. It’s been forever since he was here. Doesn’t he have his own group?”

“He does. They’re an unsavory bunch from what he’s told me… But I’d prefer to stay out of it.”

“To think Ayato’s gone and gotten himself in this mess. I just hope he’s okay.”

“Touka. Did you see Kaneki recently?”

“…Yes. Why?”

“He seemed a bit distant at work the other day. I wanted to know if something happened.”

“I mean… nothing significant.”

“I just think you should give up on pursuing him.”

“But Yomo-”

“Touka, it isn’t safe for you. Especially not right now.”

Touka hide her grimace, changing the subject. “…Is Hinami coming back from the market soon?”

“She should be. She left a while ago…”

****

“A-AH! I’m so sorry!”

Hide was in his own little mess. In his on rush of trying to get out of work faster, he managed to run into someone on the way to his bike, trip over them, and knock the person over _along with their extremely convoluted selection of groceries_. All over the sidewalk. He rushed clumsily on his own feet to try and help the person up. She was younger than he was, passing for a high school girl. She was bundled up in fluffy clothing, a thin purse hanging from her shoulder.

“Miss? Are you okay? Can you stand?” Hide was embarrassed beyond belief. The girl only looked at him curiously with brown eyes as Hide helped her up. She didn’t look at all offended; just a little mystified. “Good, you can stand… Let me help you pick up your things…”

Hide got down on his knees, trying to place everything back into the bag the girl was carrying. She also assisted him, and in minutes everything was cleaned up. Hide handed her the bag with a smile and a repeated apology.

“…Thank you, sir.” She spoke politely, giving Hide a little smile.

“No problem.” Hide chuckled nervously. What a dummy. “I think I’ve seen you shop around here often, actually.”

“My onee-chan is too busy with school to shop, so I always do it…”

“That’s nice of you. I’m Hideyoshi, by the way. Just in case we ever run into each other again. Can I know your name?”

“Hinami.”

“Hinami… Hinami! I’ve heard about you! Ken’s you’re big brother, right?”

Hinami raised her eyebrows, a bit shocked from Hide’s statement. “Onii-chan… _knows_ people?”

“Heh, don’t be silly. Of course he does. He just doesn’t socialize. We actually met recently, and I like him a lot.”

“…Oh.”

“You’re lucky to have such a nice person as your older brother, Hinami.” Hide grinned at her. “In a way, I’m almost jealous of how close you two are.”

“….Jealous?” Hinami couldn’t put out any other extended answers for she was holding her tongue. Is this the sort of thing Ayato was referring to? “Do you like onii-chan?”

“…A bit, yeah. No, probably a lot.” Hide blushed a little, averting his glance. “To explain it simply, he makes me feel different compared to when I’m around other people.”

“I’ve never seen onii-chan with a boy before. Only girls, from what I remember…”

“Huh. Interesting.”

“Hideyoshi… do you want to know more about onii… Kaneki?” Hinami asked, clutching her bag.

“Oh?”

“Well, I mean… you like him a lot from what you tell me. I just… figured you would want to know more about him. So he can be happy.”

“Of course, then. Anything for him.”


	4. Thirst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to update everything in some sort of established order  
> so 'dont put a price on me' is up next don't worry  
> work and other things have slowly draining motivation from my system  
> yeah
> 
> next chapter warning; smut (duh) and AOGIRI SHENANIGANS GASP  
> (shit gets real damn)
> 
> also i'm still laughing at TheatricalPlacenta's name like shit is golden help me

“It’s nice having you over here again, Hide.” Kaneki commented, setting up the coffee maker to brew. “But you didn’t have to bring your own coffee…”

“But I did. Do you not like it?”

“No… it’s my favorite, actually. I don’t normally buy it because it’s expensive… how uncanny.”

Hide hid his chuckling as he sat on a chair by an easel, looking through one of Kaneki’s sketchbooks. They were a lot more unique than he thought; Kaneki’s penciled sketches were messy, but intricate. The smudges on every page, whether on purpose or otherwise, were artistic in any way. At this point he got cover-to-cover of about two of Kaneki’s many sketchbooks; Hide just couldn’t put them down. Kaneki was a bit amused by Hide’s interests, not really being embarrassed by Hide’s almost aggressive interest in his art.

“Hey, Kaneki. Do you wanna head to my place after coffee?” Hide asked, putting one of the books down beside him and picking up another.

“Uh, if it’s okay with you. Is something bothering you?” Kaneki flipped the switch on the coffee maker, giving it time to brew.

“No, nothing in particular. It’s just that I’ve been here so much, I think it’s only fair if you came to my place once or twice, yeah? Can’t let you do all of the hosting.”

“I don’t mind it, though.”

“Kaneki, take a load off, huh?” Hide laughed at the other a bit. “Just take my offer to let me take _you_ home for once.”

“…Are you implying that you want to take me home for a sinister reason?”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘sinister’. It would be sinister if I didn’t _ask_ you first. Which I totally will do if the opportunity presents itself to me.”

“You haven’t even taken me out on a date yet.”

“Aren’t these visits dates?”

“…I _suppose_. But I also wasn’t aware that we had any romantic involvement with each other.”

“Eh, but that was sort of implied.”

“Was it?”

“…Just a little. You cared enough to ask for my address any time you needed to get me.”

“I think that’s a pretty common standard among friends.”

“But my face is everywhere.”

“Excuse me?” Kaneki raised an eyebrow.

“This sketchbook; the one that I’m holding with the sunflower on the first page. You’ve got doodles of my face all over it.”

“H-Hold on a second!” Kaneki rushed to Hide from the counter. “I can explain that!”

“Oh come on, don’t worry about it.” Hide snickered, flipping through the pages. “They’re not bad or anything. I like them; you got me spot on.”

“L-Look, it isn’t that.. it’s…” Kaneki tried to grab the book from Hide’s hands. “It’s just-”

“ _Really embarrassing_?” Hide grinned a bit cheekily, satisfied with himself.

“They’re…. _practice sketches_.” Kaneki managed to swipe the book from the other, holding it underneath his arm. “For… a project I’m working on. And almost done with, actually…”

“A portrait?”

“A conceptual one, yes…” Kaneki shifted his eyes. “And I thought… y-you would be the perfect subject for it.”

“Man, you’re adorable.” Hide smiled. “I can’t wait to see it. If you show me before we leave.”

“Thank you. Let’s talk about something else. My life isn’t revolved around my work.”

“It seems to be. You don’t exactly leave here too often, or even the campus for that matter unless you have to go to the café.”

Kaneki shrugged, shoving the sketchbook someplace hidden on the counter as he walked back over to the coffee maker. “Being social was never a priority for me.”

“Well, _now_ it is. You know rabbits die of loneliness, right?”

“You’re not a rabbit, nor am I.”

“Don’t try to deny the facts, Ken.”

“Why are you calling me by my first name?”

“Because I know it pisses you off and because I _ken_.”

“Oh my _god_.”

“Lighten up, I’m joking. Just trying to make you a little less tense. Why are you so uptight?”

“I guess it’s the whole Ayato and Touka thing that has me all wound up…”

“Hmmm…” Hide nodded in agreement. “There’s no new leads and everyone’s worried.”

“Yeah, and the whole thing with Touka…”

“It’s just an off-week for us all, I guess. You think Ayato will come up at some point?”

“Maybe. I don’t know whether to doubt it or not.” Kaneki sighed a little. “And even then, I know getting near him in the slightest would mean being near Touka, and I don’t want to imagine how that would go down…”

“There’s no use in avoiding her forever, man.”

“Isn’t there? My presence hurts her so much because she knows she can’t have me. If I’m not around, she doesn’t have a reason to feel anymore pain.”

“Kaneki, the world isn’t as black and white as that. And you know that I know that you know that won’t work as well as you think it will.”

“What other choice do I even have?”

Hide stayed quiet for a moment, and then found himself chuckling a little in embarrassment. “Well, you got me there… but that doesn’t mean that you should do it regardless.”

“I’m dropping the subject. The coffee is ready.”

Hide sighed softly, deciding to give up on the matter for now. He could give Kaneki credit; he was stubborn, definitely. It was sort of a pointless matter to argue about since Hide didn’t know very much about it in the first place. Kaneki handed him his coffee and sat across from Hide, sipping it silently as his nerves were on edge with Hide’s hands in his sketchbooks. Maybe it was more embarrassment than a violation of privacy.

“Hide.” Kaneki broke the silence. “What’s your home like?”

“My place? Well, it’s nothing special, honestly. Just an apartment on a student’s budget I guess.” Hide shrugged, taking a longer sip of his coffee. “It’s bigger than your dorm, though.”

Kaneki nodded in interest. “Are you sure you want me to come over?”

“Of course I do. I’m pretty well acquainted to your atmosphere. I think it’s only fair of you familiarized yourself with mine. Are you nervous or something?”

“Maybe slightly, yes.” Kaneki admitted. “This ‘friend’ thing with outsiders of my own comfort zone is sort of weird.”

“You’ll get used to it. I’ll try my best.”

“…Thanks.” Kaneki took another sip, trying to ease himself in the conversation.

“I never have company other than a few people, and my exes… so I think it’d be nice if you visited me. Maybe even stayed over, hm?”

“You mean like a sleepover?” Kaneki’s memories of any sleepovers he had were from his childhood.

“Yeah. I mean, nothing too intense or anything. Make some popcorn, flip on a movie, drink some wine?”

“I don’t normally drink.”

“Just a little bit. You need to loosen up a bit. Besides, it was a present from someone at my job, and normally I don’t drink, but…” Hide shifted a bit awkwardly in his seat. “It would be sort of rude to waste it, right?”

“I guess so. Just don’t drink to the point of falling over.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t do that. Especially not around other people. I have some decency.” Hide chuckled at Kaneki. “I just hope the same for you.”

“Oh _please_ , there’s a difference between being a prude and having common sense.”

“Ha! You even _admit_ to being a prude? First time I’ve ever seen that, and I thought I’ve seen it all.”

“Having the prude image up repels social interaction on my end. Personally, I’m not really that much of a prude.”

“That’s quite the façade you have then. I’m actually sort of impressed, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t loosen up a bit.” Hide nudged Kaneki’s foot with his own. “Which is why I think you should stay over.”

“You don’t need to convince me, I already technically said yes…”

“I just needed a confirmation, is all. We could leave now if you want.”

“It’s early afternoon…” Kaneki finished his coffee, and let the mug be squeezed in his hand. “Isn’t it a bit too early to drink?”

“We don’t have to drink _yet_. We can watch a cheesy movie or talk if you want. Either way, I wanna see that portrait before we leave.”

“You’re not going to let that go, are you?”

“Well _duh_ , of course I’m not. If someone makes something of me or for me, I definitely want to get a look at it?”

“You can’t wait until presentation?”

“Nope. Lemme see it.”

Kaneki groaned, standing up from his seat. “ _Fine_ , but don’t laugh at it.”

“I _promise_ I won’t.”

Kaneki stuck his mug in the sink before heading into the back part of his dorm toward his bedroom. He dug around the mess of newsprint and old palettes lying around to find the desired canvas that was wrapped in newspaper and masking tape. It was an overdone mean of protection, but he didn’t want to risk anything happening to the portrait. He ripped off the paper carefully, tossing it aside to worry about it later. Once it was decently revealed, he picked it up by the top frame and left the room.

Hide sat excitedly in his seat, drinking the rest of his coffee as he awaited the great reveal he was expecting. He knew Kaneki was an impressive artist but he was so flustered at even the thought of Kaneki making something based off him, Hide wasn’t sure what to correctly feel. His legs swung a little in his seat and he flashed a giddy little grin as he heard Kaneki’s footsteps drawing closer to him. He stood up when he saw Kaneki’s shadow getting closer, holding the painting.

It was in as much detail as Kaneki could muster as a painter. The smile portrayed on the canvas was so pure and innocent, as if the subject was back at his time of youth. The skin tones ere bright enough to reflect such an expression with its mixtures of oranges and pinks and purples. The eyes were partially opened; what could be seen of the iris was a perfectly balanced maple brown, the highlights being a gentle pink and white. Anything below the neck, however, was penciled it and sloppily painted with the watered down acrylic; Kaneki was correct in saying that it wasn’t finished. However, it was a pretty simple job for what he had to do, he just didn’t get the chance to do it.

Hide’s eyes shined with joy, his smile growing wider as his eyes scanned the work. His face even began blushing and his hands pressed together to contain his joy. His eyes finally met back up with Kaneki’s, Kaneki’’s eyes being closed and his expression strained of embarrassment. In one swift motion, Hide charged forward just enough to wrap the other in a tight embrace, squeezing Kaneki and pulling him into his chest. Hide’s smile kept up through the hug; he was almost at a loss of breath.

“H-Hid…. H-Hide… I c-can’t…” Kaneki struggled through Hide’s seemingly iron grip of a hug. He tried to wiggle out of it to give himself a chance to breathe, but Hide wouldn’t let him go.

Hide squeezed him for only a few more seconds before finally loosening up the hug, giving Kaneki a bit of physical relief. A smile like no other was glued onto his face as he pulled back just enough to stare at Kaneki with glee. Kaneki was a mix of confusion and embarrassed flattery; he appreciated Hide’s enjoyment towards his painting, but was also sort of weirded out by Hide’s reaction. Maybe it was just a bit too touchy feely for Kaneki’s tastes.

“I-I’m… going to assume… that you like it…?” Kaneki asked, still a little disoriented.

“That’s a dumb question, silly! Of course I do!” Hide made no effort to hide his excitement. “I _love_ it!”

“I’m glad you do. I’ve been working very hard on it.”

“And you should keep working on it until it’s even more perfect than it already is.”

“That… er… was the plan, I suppose. Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“Would you mind if I were to put this painting into a showing sometime next week?” Kaneki asked a bit timidly, averting his eyes. “I need to start showcasing my work a little more, so I thought I would try to participate on the campus efforts for artistic influence. So, how about it?”

“Would I mind? Hell no. I need _everyone_ to see this delicious face.” Hide flashed a cocky smirk to amuse the other. “But really, go for it. People need to know a bit more about your talent, man.”

“You think so?”

“Of course I do. And I’m not just saying that ‘cause you painted me. Which by the way, is still pretty fucking cool.” Hide’s hands moved to Kaneki’s shoulders, squeezing them in encouragement. “You’ll do great, man.”

“Thank you. The last time I showcased feels as if it was so long ago.”

“Take all the time you need. Just know that you’ll do awesome.”

****

“Okay, so that’s what we’ll do.” Ayato tapped his fingers on the glass table, a glass of water beside his hand.

“Ayato, we can’t have too many of these missions at once with such little time in between.” An older man responded with slight ugency, a mask covering his mouth to make his voice seem muffled. “You may be an officer, but you’re in no position to be making such executive decisions, especially concerning something so familial.”

“Tatara, I know what I’m doing here.” Ayato snapped at him. “And of course I won’t do something like this right away. It needs planning.”

“It reeks of shit that you aren’t willing to tell us, Ayato.” A nastier voice spoke up. “What’re you hiding?”

“Nothing that you guys don’t already know.”

“Pft.”

“Also, Naki, while I have your attention for once; where’s your influence at?”

“…Influenza? I’m not sick. You’re the only one who gets sick here.”

“ _Influence_. Where’s Jason?”

“Not around.” Naki shrugged; he was sitting in a corner of the room by the table. “He said something about stopping by the market and never came back.”

“Good. We can’t the predator know about something like this. Planning Ayato’s ‘abduction’ was enough to nearly push him off the edge.”

“I don’t like lying to him.” Naki shifted uncomfortably.

“You’ll do as you’re told, partnership values disregarded.” Tatara intervened.

“Getting him involved may be necessary if our warnings are taken with a grain of salt.” Ayato said, taking a sip of his water.

“Why even send out warnings anyways? We didn’t send out any warnings for you and it went _fine_!” Naki spat in defiance. 

“Because I wanna toy with this guy. I’ve never seen him before, at least from what Hinami explained. Something about him… I really wanna crush it; grind it into dust. And I feel like it’ll affect Kaneki the exact amount I want it to.”

“Ayato, don’t let your personal desires interfere with your operation.” Tatara warned.

“I know what I’m doing.” Ayato repeated. “Just let me work with the resources I’m provided with.”

****

“Hide, are you feeling okay?” Kaneki squeezed Hide’s shoulder.

“Yeaaaah, I’m good.”

Kaneki was a bit skeptical. The two went through with their plan of visiting Hide’s and watching a movie, which turned out a lot better than Kaneki expected. Hide’s apartment was a bit messy for Kaneki’s tastes (although he was one to talk), everything else was surprisingly well kept. It was almost _too_ well kept; as if Hide was preparing for something like this. The kitchen was almost spotless and the television was almost _too comfy_. It was a bit uncanny. Hide’s bedroom, however, looked like a typical messy bedroom; unless that’s what Hide’s version of a ‘clean bedroom’ was. Newspaper clippings covered every wall, some clothes were scattered along the floor, and the bed was a little unkept. It was a homey feel to an extent according to Kaneki.

When they finally sat down, Kaneki and Hide broke out the wine and popcorn and popped in a cheesy movie to lighten the mood. Hide had taken to cuddling up against Kaneki’s side, while Kaneki uncomfortably dealt with it. As the movie progressed and the wine increased, Kaneki was a bit more adjusted and even leaned back at the other. It made Hide happy knowing Kaneki was opening up to him a little more; the cute little movie date was a good idea.

The movie did end eventually, and Hide was getting a bit antsy in his seat. Kaneki was raising an eyebrow, trying to find out why Hide was so fidgety. Perhaps it was the wine? Or maybe the movie didn’t suit his tastes? Either way, it was a bit worrying.

“You just seem a bit… uncomfortable.” Kaneki observed, trying to get a good look at Hide’s eyes. “Are you sure nothing’s wrong?”

“I’m _anything_ but uncomfortable, Kaneki. I’m pretty comfortable around you.” Hide smiled with reassurance, placing his hands on Kaneki’s shoulders.

Yeah, maybe a bit _too_ comfortable. “…Why are you getting so close to me?”

“I can’t desire your presence?”

“I-I’m not saying that…” Kaneki turned his head, hiding his reddening face. “I guess it’s just a little embarrassing, that’s all.”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, yeah? You already know I like you, Ken.” He leaned forward a bit, putting some pressure on Kaneki’s body. “What’s a little physical contact?”

“Nothing, but- Hey, wait a second-!” Kaneki felt himself fall back a bit, and Hide provided that little push that had Kaneki’s back on the couch.

Their chests were touching and their faces were inches from each other. Hide’s hands had moved from Kaneki’s shoulders to either side of Kaneki’s head, the fabric of the couch sinking under his weight. Hide’s weight made Kaneki’s heart skip beats all over; what exactly were Hide’s intentions? Hide only smiled down at Kaneki, his eyes staring directly into Kaneki’s purely out of affection.

“…This is a good angle to see you at.” Hide commented, adjusting his legs so he could hold the other in place.

“What happened to no sinister intentions? What are you planning, Hideyoshi?” Kaneki fidgeted a bit underneath the other, trying to free himself.

“Don’t be like that. I won’t do anything you won’t like. Hold still.” Hide broke the gap between their faces, a kiss being initiated. It was soft and fluffy at first, despite Kaneki’s squirming. Kaneki adjusted to it, accepting Hide’s mild advances. Hide hummed in the kiss, trying to make the other blush and drown further into the kiss. Soon, Hide’s teeth lightly nipped on Kaneki’s lips, trying to get him to open his mouth. 

Kaneki opened his mouth to breathe, giving Hide a big enough window of opportunity to deepen the kiss himself. Kaneki, surprisingly, didn’t have any objections despite the rude advance. Kaneki’s hands went from pushing upwards on Hide’s shoulders to gripping the fabric of his shirt, trying to hold on. Hide’s legs loosened since he figured holding the other in place wasn’t necessary anymore. The two exchanged soft hums as their tongues wrapped around each other. Kaneki’s heartbeat kept picking up speed as he could feel himself drown more and more into Hide’s touches.

Hide eventually pulled away, a thin string of saliva being the only link. His breathing was soft but labored and his face was equally red to Kaneki’s. He slowly let his head sink down to Kaneki’s face, kissing his temple. Next was his cheek, then his jawline, and finally gentle kisses down Kaneki’s neck in cluster. Kaneki’s breath hitched at the sensitive touching, his head moving reflexively to give the other more space with his skin. Kaneki’s weak moans of response amused Hide, causing him to smile into kissing Kaneki’s skin.

“H… H-Hide…” Kaneki’s whispers were hoarse, but gentle. “Why… are you touching me so much…?”

“Because I can.” Hide cooed at him, letting the tip of his tongue circle the side of Kaneki’s neck. “Does it bother you?”

“Not particularly…” Kaneki averted his eyes, a bit flustered.

“You don’t have to be nervous, y’know. It’s just the two of us.” Hide’s words of backing were paralleled by his hot breath on Kaneki’s neck. “You’re pretty comfy to lay on, you know.”

“I’m not nervous, just… not used to the treatment.”

“Not used to the… treatment? Did something happen?” Hide lifted his head up, looking a bit concerned at Kaneki.

“N-Not something I’d like to bring up. Look, don’t worry about it.” Kaneki tried to push the subject away. “There isn’t any need to add weight to the burden.”

“Look, if you’re not comfortable with me touching you-”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it? You’re worrying me, man.”

“It’s just… I don’t know. Awkward, maybe? Not on the basis that we’ve only met a few weeks ago, but…”

“Stage fright.”

“Wait, what?”

“Stage fright.” Hide repeated. “You’re not, you know, adjusted to this kind of thing yet, right? Never been intimate with someone before. You haven’t swiped your V-card yet.”

“I, u-uh….” Kaneki smiled a bit nervously, putting his hand on his chin. “Y-Yeah, maybe that’s it.”

“You think so? Perhaps my expertise in this area is a bit stronger than I thought.” Hide jested, grabbing Kaneki’s hand away from his chin and his free one, kissing his fingers. “Are you up to… continuing?”

“…S-Sure.”

Hide nodded, releasing Kaneki’s hands as he got up off him, standing beside the couch. Hide stretched his hand out for Kaneki to stand with. “Then let’s relocate.”

Kaneki stood up, too anxious to really say anything else on the matter as Hide led him out of the room and into his disheveled bedroom. When the door was shut and locked, it was a bit surprising how dark it could get in there. Kaneki could barely see his hands in front of his face in the dimness of the room. He felt his hand be squeezed by Hide’s before he was dragged once again. His body was prompted to sit on the bed by restless hands, and a weight on Kaneki’s lap followed that. A snicker escaped Hide’s mouth when he nested himself on top of Kaneki once again; this time, in a more suitable setting.

“Is it too dark for you?” Hide inquired, letting his fingers run through the other’s hair. “I mean, it must be since you’re also wearing the eyepatch…”

“It’s fine, but… it’s a lot darker in here than I thought it would be.” Kaneki was a bit fascinated.

“I work better pooling together ideas when I’m in the dark with a notebook, pen, and a flashlight. I probably watched too many movies as a kid. Plus I feel like it’d be a bit better for you; if it’s dark enough, no one will see anything. Which means you don’t have to worry.”

“...I appreciate the creative consideration, but how are we going to go about doing this when it’s pitch black?”

“I’ll turn on a light if I need to, but what I’m doing now only requires the sense of touch.”


End file.
